His, Hers, & Ours
by Everystep
Summary: No matter how much you try to fight it, there are some things in life that just aren't up for negotiation. Happy Royai day! I don't own FMA.
1. His

This is a little...I'm not quite sure what to call it, series of three oneshots that I wrote for the Royai festival at the Roy x Hawkeye thread. The theme is "new beginnings".

So...here is chapter one! Two and three will follow in the coming days. Hope you like it! Happy (at this point early) Royai day!! :)

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His

--

The office was completely silent, save for the faint scratches of two pens as they moved furiously back and forth across blank sheets of paper. If Roy Mustang concentrated hard enough, he could just barely hear the even breathing of Riza Hawkeye as she swiftly tore through the rather daunting stack of paperwork beside her. One might think that these would be perfect working conditions for someone with a less than lengthy attention span; however, that was turning out not to be the case.

Sitting in a room alone with Riza proved more difficult than Roy had initially imagined. He could feel her lifting her eyes from her papers every so often to make sure he focused properly on his own work, and in those brief seconds it took him everything he had to maintain the pretense that he actually _was_ focused on his work, and not on her. He would hastily scribble meaningless names and times down as they popped into his mind, his pulse quickening as he entered her line of vision. What did she focused on with those eyes of hers – his hands, his face, his neck, or all of him? Roy suddenly felt exposed, vulnerable. He sensed a reddish tinge beginning to taint his seemingly calm facial features. Of course Riza would notice it. How could she not, with _her_ eyes? And now she would know that he'd noticed her. And was thinking about her. And thus not paying attention to the project at hand.

She was good.

Roy pondered his next move. Perhaps it would be best to step out for a moment, get a glass of water, regain his fleeting composure, and start over. It would undoubtedly let Riza know just how much she flustered him, but he saw no other options. Furthermore, he needed a break from pretending she wasn't so distracting. His office, though it certainly _looked_ empty with just the two of them occupying it, became filled with her the moment the rest of his subordinates cleared out. Roy couldn't stop considering the fact that they were _alone_, just the two of them, in his office. Alone. No one else. His face burned with the thought of it.

He suddenly looked up, his head involuntarily snapping out of its previous position, as if that would rid his mind of such thoughts. And, (involuntarily, of course), his eyes met Riza's.

He froze.

Riza stared back at him, frowning, her forehead slightly wrinkled in confusion. She tilted her head just barely, waiting for him to sever this dreadful silence.

Roy cleared his throat. "I…I'm doing my work," he choked out, nodding and pointing to his papers. He immediately cringed. Did he really just say that?

"I know you are," Riza replied, her concerned expression softening into an easy smile as she returned her gaze to her desk.

Roy exhaled slowly, the redness slowly creeping out of his face.

"Yes," he continued, horrified with himself for prolonging the conversation. Why, in God's name, didn't he stop talking? "S-so you don't need to worry," he muttered, his skin aflame once more.

Riza continued writing. "Mmhm."

Roy stared down at the top of his desk. What was wrong with him? Since when did Riza make lose his head and turn into this stuttering idiot? What exactly was she-

_It's because I'm in love with her._

Roy coughed, gasping as he recoiled in his chair. Where did _that_ come from?!

"Is something wrong?" demanded Riza, placing her pen down and standing up.

"No! Nothing…I'm fine, please, stay there," Roy answered quickly. He watched Riza, making sure she made no attempts to come any nearer to him. That certainly wouldn't make the situation any better. "I'm just feeling a little lightheaded…I'll be back in a few minutes," he said, making his way swiftly towards the door.

It was true, he thought miserably to himself as he escaped to the bathroom. All of this; the stuttering, the distractions, the pointless babbling was because Riza had reduced him to nothing more than a lovesick teenager. Roy leaned over the sink. He felt dizzy, elated, nauseous, nervous, defeated, and liberated all at the same time. And he had to, somehow, pull himself together and spend the next three hours in that office with that woman.

This was going to be a problem.


	2. Hers

A huge thank you to all that reviewed! You make my day :)

This the second oneshot written for the Royai festival at fullmetal-alchemist dot com's Roy x Hawkeye thread, and once again the theme is "new beginnings". The way this one fits into the theme is kinda abstract, so I'll let you interpret it however you choose. Anddd...it's quite angsty haha, you have been warned. It's set during the manga shortly after Roy gets transfered to Central.

Hope you like it! :)

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Hers

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The sky churned outside of Central Headquarters, angry clouds looming threateningly outside the window as Riza Hawkeye hastily grabbed a few pieces of paper scattered across Roy Mustang's desk. She walked swiftly out of his office, striding through the hallways as fast as her feet would take her. Riza refused to run; she was always professional, if anything, regardless of the amount of professionalism (or lack thereof) displayed by her boss.

"Here you are, Sir," she said, handing the papers to Roy where he stood outside the Fuhrer's office. He nodded, taking them out of her hands and rolling the corner repeatedly between his thumb and forefinger. Riza opened her mouth to let him know how she felt about him defiling the documents she'd just raced to bring him, but stopped herself, not in any mood to argue, and feeling that it probably would be best not to antagonize Roy right before he gave report on an entire year's worth of his – no, their – work to the most influential person in the country.

"Thanks…you're dismissed for today," he answered after a few seconds, throwing her a small smile. "Get some rest."

"Understood. Good luck," said Riza, spinning on her heel and making her way back to her locker to pack up her things. She couldn't help but smile softly to herself as she walked. Finally, after days of early mornings, late nights, and constant scrambling to meet deadlines, she could get a decent night's sleep without worrying about how much damage control she'd have to do in the morning. Yes, this nightmare of a project was finally over, and the best part of it all (or worst, Riza hadn't decided yet) was the way it left her feeling about Roy.

Working with him recently had put a lid on some rather strong emotions that Riza couldn't seem to shake off. She'd first noticed it a few days ago; that she didn't walk behind Roy quite so closely, didn't wish for him to stay in the same room with her just a little bit longer, didn't feel a rush of adrenaline when he stood next to her. Riza supposed that she was a little disappointed with how much he annoyed her as of late, and although she knew that her aversion to him would surely wear off after things had quieted down around the office, it was nice to be free, if only for a little while. Nothing ate away at her more than the knowledge that there would most likely never be a time or a place for them, and that she would be forced to go on living constantly wondering what could have been. Needless to say, it was not a prospect she found very desirable.

Perhaps the most difficult part of all this was that Riza knew Roy saw the situation between them the same way. She noticed the way he looked at her when he thought she wasn't paying attention, the way he made sure his pace was always a little faster than hers so he could always be the one to hold open the door, and countless other things he did in silence that spoke louder than words ever could. But that was all it ever was, a glance, a smile, a hand brushing against her shoulder. Nothing more, nothing less.

Riza shoved such thoughts from her mind, determined to revel in the fact that she didn't seem so affected by him at this point in time. She opened her locker, taking out her coat and shrugging it on over her shoulders. She grabbed her keys, about to shut the door when she noticed a plain white envelope resting on top of the remainder of her belongings.

"What is this…?" she wondered out loud, frowning and carefully tearing the top open. She pulled out a card, slowly opening it and reading what was written inside:

_Lt. Hawkeye,_

_Just wanted to thank you for all your hard work these past few weeks. I know I haven't exactly made things easy on you, but I would be lost without you, in more ways than one._

_--R. Mustang_

Riza leaned her head against the locker door, clenching her jaw shut as tears threatened to work their way into her tired eyes. Was she really so weak that two messily scribbled sentences could shatter her resolve? Did she not deserve just a moment of freedom? Why did he keep doing this to her? Why couldn't he leave her alone? And what, she wondered bitterly, biting into her lip, was he doing that kept making her love him?

She slammed her locker shut, her fingers still angrily fastened around the letter, and darted for the exit. During the walk back to her apartment Riza kept her head down, trying not to look at anyone or anything with the potential to push her already unstable emotions over the edge. Finally she stopped in front of her door, fumbling with her keys and letting herself inside. Exhausted in every sense of the word, Riza tossed the card onto the kitchen table and allowed herself to collapse into a chair, her head falling into her hands.

"You idiot," she mumbled through gritted teeth, tears spilling through her fingers. Everything Roy had ever done to annoy her didn't matter anymore. Those fleeting moments of "freedom" she'd felt earlier were nothing more than ignorant denial. She wanted it all, every little part of him. She squeezed her hands shut, grabbing onto the nothingness that surrounded her.

"You idiot…you idiot…"


	3. Ours

Happy official Royai day!! :D

So, this is my last little oneshot written for fullmetal-alchemist dot com's Royai festival at the Roy x Hawkeye thread, and the theme is again "new beginnings". This is kind of an alternate version of chapter 72, my personal favorite Royai chapter :3 (so needless to say spoilers up to that point). And it's kind of indulgent haha, so...do with that what you will.

Well...I hope you like it! And THANK YOU all so much for reviewing/faving/subscribing/reading! :)

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Ours

Riza Hawkeye jumped, startled by a rhythmic knocking at her apartment door. She stood up from her spot on the couch, her hands trembling slightly as she braced herself to look through the peephole. After the events of tonight, a visitor at such a late hour couldn't possibly be a good thing. Her cheek burned from where the homunculus Pride had delicately sliced through her skin, the cut a glaring assertion of his power and a painful reminder of her current situation. Riza lifted her eye to the door, hastily twisting open the locks as Roy Mustang's head came into view.

"Colonel?" she said, cringing at the hint of desperation that came through in her voice.

"I knew something was up with you," he sighed, reaching his hand up to examine the scratch on her face. Riza winced as his fingers made contact with her inflamed skin. "Sorry," he said, retracting his arm.

"What are you doing here?" asked Riza, shutting the door behind Roy as he walked inside. "We can't be seen together."

"You know why I'm here," he replied, taking off his coat and draping it over the back of a chair. "Don't worry; I wasn't followed."

Riza stared at him, arms crossed. Of course she knew the reason for his visit; a complete stranger could have recognized her lies when he called her earlier that evening asking if something was wrong. In all honesty, she'd half expected him to recklessly show up at her door the way he did. She scowled, annoyed that Roy so quickly disregard his safety for something as trivial as this. However, the fact that she couldn't help but feel a hint of satisfaction at his concern for her annoyed her almost as much.

"So are you going to tell me what happened?" Roy asked, returning her gaze.

"I'd think you of all people would be wary of sharing information so casually," Riza replied coldly, unable to believe he could conveniently forget all the efforts he normally went through to ensure complete privacy before revealing sensitive material to his allies.

"Do you think you're being watched?"

"I don't…" Riza instinctively glanced around her apartment, her stomach churning anxiously as she eyed the darkness that collected in the corners, out of reach of the feeble glow of her lamps.

_I'll be watching you from the shadows…_

"I don't know," she groaned, sitting down at her kitchen table and resting her head in her hands.

Roy exhaled slowly, sitting down across from her. "Look, Riza…"

She jumped, not used to hearing him call her by her first name. The sound of it resonated in her ears, both foreign and familiar at the same time. She wanted him to say it again.

Roy continued. "I'm not here as your superior…"

"Then…what _are_ you here as?" Riza asked, almost regretting voicing the question they'd silently agreed not to bring up. Of course she wanted to admit to being more than a friend, but what would that mean for them? What could they possible make of it in the midst of all this chaos? And then they'd both be faced with that knowledge, that bitter, resentful knowledge that perhaps if they'd lived in some other time, some other place, they could have lived happily and free of troubles. But they were stuck here in this twisted world, constantly kept at arms length from one another no matter how far they stretched out their hands.

"…Do you really want me to answer that?" Roy replied after a few minutes, his face tensing into a weary frown. Riza recognized that look; she imagined her own expression to be quite similar.

"No," she whispered.

"At least let me spend the night on your couch," he said, his mouth bending into a slight smile.

Riza sighed, lacking both the energy and the willpower to point out everything that was wrong with his request. She looked down at her arm resting motionlessly on the tabletop, coincidentally not far from Roy's. He fanned out his hand, his fingertips barely brushing against hers. Her skin tingled from the sensation, burning for more. She stiffened her joints, willing herself not to move them any farther.

"Is that a yes…?" Roy asked, raising an eyebrow. Riza nodded despite herself.

"I'm not going to argue with you," she said, leaning back in her chair.

"Is that so…I'm not sure whether to be grateful or worried," he replied.

"Be grateful."

Roy laughed. "Yeah, I guess…" he let his eyes fall on Riza, his face still holding onto a sad smile. Part of her wished he'd stop looking at her that way, helpless and apologetic. But she liked the way it felt to have his eyes on her, knowing he felt the same way, even if saying it would shatter them both. It was masochism in its purest form, and Riza couldn't get enough.

"It's getting late…" she finally said, beginning to feel the weight of the day's events.

"Indeed…I suppose morning even comes for people like us," remarked Roy, standing up slowly. "Perhaps you and I will see a proper sunrise someday."

Riza looked up at him, arms crossed. "Oh?"

Roy shrugged. "It's wishful thinking, at least."

Yes, Riza thought, it was indeed wishful thinking. Perhaps it was all right, for her to believe that there would be a sunrise for them in some distant future. Maybe it was denial, maybe it was self-preservation, but all that was left for them in a world without hope was despair, she told herself, and such a life was hardly one worth living.

"I'm glad that you came here," she said.

Roy smiled. "Mm…sleep well; I'll see you tomorrow," he said, lightly squeezing her shoulder.

"Yes…I'll see you tomorrow."


End file.
